It seems that the emotional and physical support we receive while young shapes our adult world more than we thought
For a child whose upbringing was one of love, trust, and reliability, these memories help to teach them the value of caring for those around them. They foster feelings of loyalty, protection, and compassion, shaping us into adults that exhibit a high level of both mental and emotional health. Taking the lessons that they learned throughout childhood and the example that it set, they allow it to shape the way that they view the world around them.
This shows that being unloved as a child can lead to struggle in adulthood
Many people around the world grow up not receiving the care and love that they require when they are young, and many individuals don’t realize this until they are adults and are faced with problems that have lingered on since childhood that they need to deal with.
Children that are raised without love start feeling unworthy of any support, even in adulthood
This may manifest in career choices, friendship and romantic relationship when they get that support. They may even resist it!
They put on a mask, acting the way they think their parents want them to because they desperate for support
This means that they deny their authentic self, and it becomes difficult when the time comes to take off the mask in adulthood after living with it on for years. If you want to discover your authentic self, you should seek the services of a therapist, whose area of expertise is childhood emotional trauma, to aid you in reconnecting with your real feelings again.
They struggle with letting people in due to abandonment issues
When children watch how their parents act with family, friends or stranger, they learn how to build relationships from that, even at an early stage like infancy. As they get older, they will mirror what they have learned from watching their parents and build relationships with others, which isn’t so easy when a child has experienced abandonment.
They adopt the mentality of victim
Children do not really have control over their surroundings, and when they finally do have control as an adult, they can still feel like they don’t have it because this mindset has become ingrained in mental. Rather than putting yourself in the shoes of a victim, pictures yourself in the shoes of a survivor. That way, you won’t forget that you have options the next time you feel like you are trapped.
On the other hand, children who are raised without this example, feeling unloved, criticized or judged, create a different understanding of their family, and as such a different grasp of the ways of the world. Essentially, they see the world through a different, altered lens. In their book ‘A General Theory of Love,’ Thomas Lewis and his co-authors explain this impact, saying “The mental machinery does not evaluate; it cannot detect whether the larger world runs in accordance with the scheme it has drawn from the emotional microcosm of a family.”